Easy mode would be to let chaos reign and let the children fend for themselves, but let’s be real: you’re here because you’re not angling to play the Parenting Game on easy mode.

Embrace an Array of Guidelines with the Flexibility to Evolve

Whatever your family’s size, chances are that you’ll need to contend with having to define rules on a kid-to-kid basis. Sweeping, general rules that apply to all children tend to be reserved for wider conversations around online safety and multiplayer games – things like “don’t ever tell a stranger where you live, or your real name,” and “never leave the platform to talk to a stranger.” For our older kids, it’s reminding them that the internet is like a very old, cranky elephant: it never forgets when you make a mistake (i.e., sending texts, pictures, messages that you shouldn’t).

While the solution to disparate screen time needs is complex and challenging, it requires more nuance than simply setting rules up and then letting them run. The first stop, no matter where you start with defining guidelines, should always be ESRB ratings. Understanding the reason why Grand Theft Auto Online (Mature 17+) may not be the right choice for your 12-year-old (right now) can be as simple as seeing what content your child would be interacting with should you say “yes.”

The ESRB ratings provide a baseline understanding of interactive gaming content, as well as guidelines for which age range this particular game would be appropriate. But not all children fit into the same category of maturity. Checking the Content Descriptors for more in-depth information on what’s in the game will help you make that final decision. For even more specific information, ESRB has rating summaries, which go one step deeper, providing more contextual information around how content is presented to the player. ESRB also includes Interactive Elements to let you know when a game includes the ability to make in-game purchases, communicate with other players via text or voice, and more.

In our home, we talk about consuming content in the same way we talk about eating food. There will be complex tastes that may be too much for a developing palate to handle. So if we put complex food in front of our youngest children, they may not be ready to enjoy it. This goes the same for video games.

The internet is like a very old, cranky elephant: it never forgets when you make a mistake.

The ESRB’s Content Descriptors are a good way to determine what’s “just right” for your children at any given time. Likening the Content Descriptors to the nutritional label on all pre-packaged foods is a good way to understand why we pay attention to what goes into a game’s rating. Just like we pay attention to sodium, sugar, carbohydrates, and fats, we need to do the same with content.

As my kids get older and develop new interests in unexplored genres, we revise our guidelines to fit where they are in their development journey. Is the 9-year-old finally old enough for Fortnite (Teen 13+)? Perhaps. The 7-year-old isn’t quite there. But the 16-year-old is definitely ready for another dive into Resident Evil (Mature 17+) while the 12-year-old embraces Diablo 3 (Mature 17+) with Grandpa and Destiny 2 (Teen 13+) with Mama and Dad.

Our home has the benefit of game-savvy parents. But if you don’t know much about video games, turn to your knowledge of television and movies to make comparisons. Letting your school-aged kiddo watch Frozen isn’t much of a stretch because it’s made for kids. But how would you feel about letting them watch Rick and Morty? Sure, it’s a cartoon, but it has violence, sexual themes, and strong language. If you’re able to break down movies and television into categories and content descriptions, then you’ll be able to do the same with games.

As always, flexibility is key.

Ensuring Safety for Younger Children

This is the key issue that families with multiple children face: how do we ensure that the younger children aren’t consuming content outside of their maturity level? Are there ways to make certain that older children are able to play the games that they want to play without fear of younger siblings experiencing content before they’re ready?

Part of the solution is in having conversations with all the kids in the household so everyone is familiar with the rules and signals around video game content. The cornerstone of this strategy is in making sure that little ones still have access to the people playing the games without being in the same space.

Make Use of Visual Cues for Younger Children

Not every home is going to be a big house in the suburbs. Some families live in smaller spaces, like condos or apartments, where there are very few places that older children can have time to play more mature titles without worrying about little ones being underfoot. In these smaller spaces, it’s important to communicate with younger children that when a specific signal is used, the living room is off limits. This is also helpful for when the parents want to load up The Last of Us Part 2 (Mature 17+) and don’t want a little one stumbling into that level of violence.

If a younger child needs something from someone in that room, even knowing that the visual cue of “Do Not Enter” is up, they should know that they can knock on a wall, a door, a bookshelf, or a window to get that person’s attention and signal that they should pause the game.

In our house there’s a whiteboard outside of the office that we write on when the children aren’t allowed in for any reason. It’s a long-established rule that ensures that appropriate measures are taken while still taking care of small children’s needs.

Make Use of “Gaming Zones”

Before we got our 12-year-old their computer as a birthday present, they would often spend the hour before dinnertime in the living room playing a game.

If the game was a “soft” T-rated game (where the most we had to contend with was a bit of strong language), then we didn’t worry too much. We always talk to the little ones about the appropriateness of the game to determine whether or not they could spectate (a beloved pastime in our home among all of the children). If it wasn’t, they’d stay away unless they needed something in the kitchen.

Instead, the little ones would use their smaller screens (iPads or laptops) or the television in the guestroom for their entertainment. After dinner, they would either swap zones with their older siblings or join them for a different game that they’ll all play together.

Be Present If the Content Is Beyond a Child’s Maturity Level

I am always a firm proponent of determining maturity level alongside age rating. For example, we played Diablo 3 (Mature 17+) with our 12-year-old for their birthday, but we played it as a family to make sure we were there to contextualize any unfamiliar content.

There are games that I may make an exception for, especially if the older sibling is tuned into the younger sibling’s comfort levels.

Those moments are great bonding experiences. As long as the content doesn’t veer too far off course, and I’m standing by to help explain anything that may be a little outside of my kid’s understanding, it’s a good opportunity to encourage that level of communication between siblings.

Figuring Out Family Game Time Across Disparate Ages

The easiest thing to do when setting up game time with the family is find a game genre that everyone enjoys and is appropriate for the youngest child. We make sure that, just like with family movie time, there’s a rotation in who chooses what to play.

In smaller spaces, it’s important to communicate with younger children that when a specific signal is used, the living room is off limits.

It could be playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Everyone) on Nintendo Switch, if everyone’s in a racing mood. Or maybe we would team up to go exploring and jumping around in Spelunky (Teen 13+). If we’re feeling into building, we’d load up our Minecraft (Everyone 10+) server or jump into Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Everyone) for some fishing or crafting. Sometimes, it’s even as simple as passing the controller back and forth, playing a single-player game on the couch (like Super Mario Odyssey (Everyone 10+)).

Setting Expectations and Reinforcing the Rules

Now that expectations about who gets to play what, when, and where have been established, there’s the not-so-tiny complexity of making sure that there’s consistency across ages and there’s continued communication between the parents and the children.

Kids don’t always follow the rules, especially if they don’t understand why the rules are being implemented. There may be pushback and a good possibility that there will be outcries of “it’s not fair” along the way.

Dissent won’t matter so much if you lean into technology to help enforce boundaries when you’re not in the room acting as a Micromanaging Parent (which you don’t want, anyway). This is where Parental Controls come into play for each of the platforms that you allow your children to use, including Android/iOS, Nintendo, PlayStation, Xbox, and Windows 10.

The trick is to balance verbal reinforcement with a technological backstop for when children push boundaries.

Be As Dialed into What They’re Playing As You Can

This is where I’ve fallen down as a parent, especially with content that is billed as “kid-friendly” on mobile. Depending on your device, mobile games aren’t always rated by the ESRB, although they are displayed for all games and apps in the Google Play Store. With a wealth of content out there for the kids to engage with, I’ll admit that I used to get overwhelmed.

There have been plenty of times where I’ve gotten it right and made sure that I’m vetting that content before the kids get to it. But, there have been an equal number of times, especially in my early days as a parent, where I wasn’t as diligent.

When I started paying very close attention to what the kids were playing and interacting with, they balked at first. They didn’t get why I was so interested all of a sudden. So, we talked about it at length and I explained why it’s important for me, as their parent, to be almost as connected to their games as they are. It took them some time to realize that I was coming at this from a place of care, rather than control, and once they understood my motives, they eased up a bit.

Now that my kids are older, we have conversations about what they’re playing regularly. We talk about what they’re most interested in — the 9-year-old wants to play Fortnite next and the 7-year-old would like to turn the clock forward so she can play horror games like her big sister — and make plans to when they’ll be able to play them, if it’s not right away.

Each child, including the 16-year-old, must ask permission to install any apps on their iPads, including games. I subscribe to Apple Arcade, which ensures that they have access to age-appropriate games that aren’t chock-full of ads, as many free-to-play and “freemium” mobile games tend to be.

These conversations open the door to improve and adapt the rules while remaining inclusive in how we’re enforcing them.

Amanda Farough has spent much of the last ten years running businesses, making websites, and writing about video games… usually within a few hours of one another. She’s a dedicated speaker with over a decade of experience and has presented/moderated at a variety of conferences, including GamesBeat Summit, Playcrafting’s Women in Games event, GameDaily Connect, PAX East/West, and a smattering of small business, digital marketing, and branding conferences.

These days, Amanda is the co-host of the Virtual Economy podcast, mama at Ready Player Mom (and part of the Radically Kind Gamers stream team) on Twitch, business & entertainment writer, and co-host on the Engaged Family Gaming podcast. Amanda also holds a seat on the board of directors at Hit Save! (a video game preservation nonprofit) as Director of Communications.

The post How to Best Manage Video Games With Kids of All Ages appeared first on ESRB Ratings.

Easy mode would be to let chaos reign and let the children fend for themselves, but let’s be real: you’re here because you’re not angling to play the Parenting Game on easy mode.

Embrace an Array of Guidelines with the Flexibility to Evolve

Whatever your family’s size, chances are that you’ll need to contend with having to define rules on a kid-to-kid basis. Sweeping, general rules that apply to all children tend to be reserved for wider conversations around online safety and multiplayer games – things like “don’t ever tell a stranger where you live, or your real name,” and “never leave the platform to talk to a stranger.” For our older kids, it’s reminding them that the internet is like a very old, cranky elephant: it never forgets when you make a mistake (i.e., sending texts, pictures, messages that you shouldn’t).

While the solution to disparate screen time needs is complex and challenging, it requires more nuance than simply setting rules up and then letting them run. The first stop, no matter where you start with defining guidelines, should always be ESRB ratings. Understanding the reason why Grand Theft Auto Online (Mature 17+) may not be the right choice for your 12-year-old (right now) can be as simple as seeing what content your child would be interacting with should you say “yes.”

The ESRB ratings provide a baseline understanding of interactive gaming content, as well as guidelines for which age range this particular game would be appropriate. But not all children fit into the same category of maturity. Checking the Content Descriptors for more in-depth information on what’s in the game will help you make that final decision. For even more specific information, ESRB has rating summaries, which go one step deeper, providing more contextual information around how content is presented to the player. ESRB also includes Interactive Elements to let you know when a game includes the ability to make in-game purchases, communicate with other players via text or voice, and more.

In our home, we talk about consuming content in the same way we talk about eating food. There will be complex tastes that may be too much for a developing palate to handle. So if we put complex food in front of our youngest children, they may not be ready to enjoy it. This goes the same for video games.

The internet is like a very old, cranky elephant: it never forgets when you make a mistake.

The ESRB’s Content Descriptors are a good way to determine what’s “just right” for your children at any given time. Likening the Content Descriptors to the nutritional label on all pre-packaged foods is a good way to understand why we pay attention to what goes into a game’s rating. Just like we pay attention to sodium, sugar, carbohydrates, and fats, we need to do the same with content.

As my kids get older and develop new interests in unexplored genres, we revise our guidelines to fit where they are in their development journey. Is the 9-year-old finally old enough for Fortnite (Teen 13+)? Perhaps. The 7-year-old isn’t quite there. But the 16-year-old is definitely ready for another dive into Resident Evil (Mature 17+) while the 12-year-old embraces Diablo 3 (Mature 17+) with Grandpa and Destiny 2 (Teen 13+) with Mama and Dad.

Our home has the benefit of game-savvy parents. But if you don’t know much about video games, turn to your knowledge of television and movies to make comparisons. Letting your school-aged kiddo watch Frozen isn’t much of a stretch because it’s made for kids. But how would you feel about letting them watch Rick and Morty? Sure, it’s a cartoon, but it has violence, sexual themes, and strong language. If you’re able to break down movies and television into categories and content descriptions, then you’ll be able to do the same with games.

As always, flexibility is key.

Ensuring Safety for Younger Children

This is the key issue that families with multiple children face: how do we ensure that the younger children aren’t consuming content outside of their maturity level? Are there ways to make certain that older children are able to play the games that they want to play without fear of younger siblings experiencing content before they’re ready?

Part of the solution is in having conversations with all the kids in the household so everyone is familiar with the rules and signals around video game content. The cornerstone of this strategy is in making sure that little ones still have access to the people playing the games without being in the same space.

Make Use of Visual Cues for Younger Children

Not every home is going to be a big house in the suburbs. Some families live in smaller spaces, like condos or apartments, where there are very few places that older children can have time to play more mature titles without worrying about little ones being underfoot. In these smaller spaces, it’s important to communicate with younger children that when a specific signal is used, the living room is off limits. This is also helpful for when the parents want to load up The Last of Us Part 2 (Mature 17+) and don’t want a little one stumbling into that level of violence.

If a younger child needs something from someone in that room, even knowing that the visual cue of “Do Not Enter” is up, they should know that they can knock on a wall, a door, a bookshelf, or a window to get that person’s attention and signal that they should pause the game.

In our house there’s a whiteboard outside of the office that we write on when the children aren’t allowed in for any reason. It’s a long-established rule that ensures that appropriate measures are taken while still taking care of small children’s needs.

Make Use of “Gaming Zones”

Before we got our 12-year-old their computer as a birthday present, they would often spend the hour before dinnertime in the living room playing a game.

If the game was a “soft” T-rated game (where the most we had to contend with was a bit of strong language), then we didn’t worry too much. We always talk to the little ones about the appropriateness of the game to determine whether or not they could spectate (a beloved pastime in our home among all of the children). If it wasn’t, they’d stay away unless they needed something in the kitchen.

Instead, the little ones would use their smaller screens (iPads or laptops) or the television in the guestroom for their entertainment. After dinner, they would either swap zones with their older siblings or join them for a different game that they’ll all play together.

Be Present If the Content Is Beyond a Child’s Maturity Level

I am always a firm proponent of determining maturity level alongside age rating. For example, we played Diablo 3 (Mature 17+) with our 12-year-old for their birthday, but we played it as a family to make sure we were there to contextualize any unfamiliar content.

There are games that I may make an exception for, especially if the older sibling is tuned into the younger sibling’s comfort levels.

Those moments are great bonding experiences. As long as the content doesn’t veer too far off course, and I’m standing by to help explain anything that may be a little outside of my kid’s understanding, it’s a good opportunity to encourage that level of communication between siblings.

Figuring Out Family Game Time Across Disparate Ages

The easiest thing to do when setting up game time with the family is find a game genre that everyone enjoys and is appropriate for the youngest child. We make sure that, just like with family movie time, there’s a rotation in who chooses what to play.

In smaller spaces, it’s important to communicate with younger children that when a specific signal is used, the living room is off limits.

It could be playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Everyone) on Nintendo Switch, if everyone’s in a racing mood. Or maybe we would team up to go exploring and jumping around in Spelunky (Teen 13+). If we’re feeling into building, we’d load up our Minecraft (Everyone 10+) server or jump into Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Everyone) for some fishing or crafting. Sometimes, it’s even as simple as passing the controller back and forth, playing a single-player game on the couch (like Super Mario Odyssey (Everyone 10+)).

Setting Expectations and Reinforcing the Rules

Now that expectations about who gets to play what, when, and where have been established, there’s the not-so-tiny complexity of making sure that there’s consistency across ages and there’s continued communication between the parents and the children.

Kids don’t always follow the rules, especially if they don’t understand why the rules are being implemented. There may be pushback and a good possibility that there will be outcries of “it’s not fair” along the way.

Dissent won’t matter so much if you lean into technology to help enforce boundaries when you’re not in the room acting as a Micromanaging Parent (which you don’t want, anyway). This is where Parental Controls come into play for each of the platforms that you allow your children to use, including Android/iOS, Nintendo, PlayStation, Xbox, and Windows 10.

The trick is to balance verbal reinforcement with a technological backstop for when children push boundaries.

Be As Dialed into What They’re Playing As You Can

This is where I’ve fallen down as a parent, especially with content that is billed as “kid-friendly” on mobile. Depending on your device, mobile games aren’t always rated by the ESRB, although they are displayed for all games and apps in the Google Play Store. With a wealth of content out there for the kids to engage with, I’ll admit that I used to get overwhelmed.

There have been plenty of times where I’ve gotten it right and made sure that I’m vetting that content before the kids get to it. But, there have been an equal number of times, especially in my early days as a parent, where I wasn’t as diligent.

When I started paying very close attention to what the kids were playing and interacting with, they balked at first. They didn’t get why I was so interested all of a sudden. So, we talked about it at length and I explained why it’s important for me, as their parent, to be almost as connected to their games as they are. It took them some time to realize that I was coming at this from a place of care, rather than control, and once they understood my motives, they eased up a bit.

Now that my kids are older, we have conversations about what they’re playing regularly. We talk about what they’re most interested in — the 9-year-old wants to play Fortnite next and the 7-year-old would like to turn the clock forward so she can play horror games like her big sister — and make plans to when they’ll be able to play them, if it’s not right away.

Each child, including the 16-year-old, must ask permission to install any apps on their iPads, including games. I subscribe to Apple Arcade, which ensures that they have access to age-appropriate games that aren’t chock-full of ads, as many free-to-play and “freemium” mobile games tend to be.

These conversations open the door to improve and adapt the rules while remaining inclusive in how we’re enforcing them.

Amanda Farough has spent much of the last ten years running businesses, making websites, and writing about video games… usually within a few hours of one another. She’s a dedicated speaker with over a decade of experience and has presented/moderated at a variety of conferences, including GamesBeat Summit, Playcrafting’s Women in Games event, GameDaily Connect, PAX East/West, and a smattering of small business, digital marketing, and branding conferences.

These days, Amanda is the co-host of the Virtual Economy podcast, mama at Ready Player Mom (and part of the Radically Kind Gamers stream team) on Twitch, business & entertainment writer, and co-host on the Engaged Family Gaming podcast. Amanda also holds a seat on the board of directors at Hit Save! (a video game preservation nonprofit) as Director of Communications.

The post How to Best Manage Video Games With Kids of All Ages appeared first on ESRB Ratings.

When it comes to entertainment, the shift to digital is happening across all media, from movies to television shows to music to video games. This is particularly relevant in 2020 when so many of us are having to stay at home. You can rest assured that all of us at the ESRB are dedicated to ensuring that our trusted and familiar ratings are accessible everywhere, no matter where you or your child can buy, access, or download a game.

Where to Find Ratings

Sackboy: A Big Adventure (Everyone) on The PlayStation Store.

Nearly nine out of 10 parents who purchase physical video games for their kids are aware of the ESRB ratings, and three out of four regularly check the ratings to decide what’s appropriate for their kids.

This illustrates just how critical it is for ESRB to be in lockstep with families as their purchasing options expand. As always, you can still find ESRB ratings displayed on the front and back of video game boxes and in all advertisements for those games. However, you can now find our three-part ratings displayed for digital, VR or mobile versions of games available on Google Play, Microsoft Store for Windows and Xbox, Xbox Game Pass, Nintendo eShop, Oculus Store, PlayStation Store, PlayStation Now, EA Origin, Steam, Google Stadia, Amazon Luna and more. This is also the case with online retailers, such as Walmart.com, Target.com, BestBuy.com, Amazon.com and GameStop.com, where you can find ESRB ratings on the information pages prior to purchasing.

Parents such as Cathy Lee Rogowski, a busy emergency room physician and mother of two kids age 10 and 12, including a daughter who plays Roblox (Everyone 10+) and a son who plays Knights of the Old Republic (Teen 13+) and Madden NFL 21 (Everyone) on the family’s PlayStation 4, rely on ESRB-assigned ratings to determine what her two children are allowed to play regardless of where they got the game.

“Our rules are pretty simple,” said Rogowski. “Mature games are off-limits. E-rated games are okay. And with Teen-rated games, I run it by other parents to see what experiences they’ve had with it first. The ratings make it easy.”

“The ratings make it easy.”

– Cathy Lee Rogowski

Setting Household Rules

Roblox (Everyone 10+) on the Google Play Store

For some parents, the proliferation of online and mobile options for video games, many of which are free-to-play, may make it more challenging to manage or monitor. Fortunately, there are some simple yet important steps they can take to make it feel a bit less overwhelming. It all starts with having an initial family conversation with your kids about what they play, what they like about them, and who they’re playing with… and keeping the conversation going. Staying positive about games, not stigmatizing them, helps to encourage your kids to talk to you about the games they play.

“As parents, we want our kids to be okay,” said Stephanie Kowack, whose son is in high school and plays Minecraft. “We try to talk to him and help him make decisions on his own. We want our children to be able to make the right choices on their own, and having these discussions is really important.”

To help get these conversations started, ESRB offers a Family Discussion Guide so the whole family can get on the same page about what’s appropriate to play, where, when, with whom, and what limits you want to set for spending additional money on in-game purchases.

“We want our children to be able to make the right choices on their own…”

– Stephanie Kowack

Setting Up Parental Controls

Next up, check out the parental controls on whatever device your child is playing games. They can be a critical backstop to help enforce your household rules.

Parental controls are available on video game consoles, PCs, mobile phones, and tablets. You can set limits for such things as play time, money spent, whether or how your child can communicate with other players and, of course, the type of games or apps they can access based on their ESRB-assigned age rating.

According to a  recent survey conducted by Hart Research Associates, 83% of parents require their kids to get their permission before playing any video game, and, as a backstop, 76% set parental controls to manage games based on their ESRB-assigned rating. Cathy Lee Rogowski, for example, uses parental controls to set her children’s video game playtime to a maximum of one hour a day.

ESRB offers step-by-step guides to help you activate parental controls for your kids’ game devices at ParentalTools.org.

While your local video game retail store remains a viable place to purchase video games, consumers of all ages have gotten accustomed to the convenience of online and mobile shopping options. Regardless of where you or your children get their games, we want to remind you to always check the ESRB rating information before inserting your credit card at check-out or hitting that “buy” or “install” button on your console, computer or mobile device. We’re here to make it easier for you to make informed decisions about the video games your kids play, in a world with an ever-increasing number of options and choices.

Patricia E. Vance is the president of the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB). In her position, she leads the teams responsible for assigning age and content ratings to video games and apps, enforcing marketing guidelines adopted by the video game industry, and operating ESRB Privacy Certified, an FTC-sanctioned COPPA Safe Harbor Privacy seal certification program.

The post Beyond the Box: ESRB Ratings for Downloadable Video Games appeared first on ESRB Ratings.

I absentmindedly gave my standard response, “Why don’t you go play with your friends?” The words flew out of my mouth just as my brain kicked in to remind me that, in the midst of a pandemic, it was bad manners for kids to show up at a friend’s house without first invoking complex inter-family logistics similar to prepping for a trip to the moon. “Oh. Right,” I said, feeling stupid.

“That’s okay, Mom,” my son said, reasonably. “I can play with Kayla on Minecraft. Is that okay?”

Just a few months ago, I would not have agreed. But now, I grabbed on to his idea like a life preserver. Kid engaged and out of trouble? Check! Socially distanced play? Check! Age appropriate content? It’s rated Everyone 10+. So, check! What’s not to like?

Going by the data, gaming has taken off during the pandemic, especially online gaming.

But then I started to wonder why my attitude has changed. Are other parents also re-evaluating what it means to “go play with friends”? Going by the data, gaming has taken off during the pandemic, especially online gaming. To get a different perspective, I asked several families about how they’re balancing social interaction with social distancing while making sure their kids are having age-appropriate experiences.

Although each of the families I spoke with had vastly different rules, they all had one thing in common – they grounded their decisions with extensive research, using content ratings and parental control options that help them draw and maintain boundaries for their children.

“I know my kids better than anyone else,” said Jonathan Silverstein, a father of two newborn twins and a teenager. “And one of the great things about ratings standards like the ESRB is that it gives me consistent guidance. I use that guidance to inform my decision-making.”

Here’s a snapshot of the families I spoke with.

The Silverstein Family

Location: Long Island, New York

Number of children: 3

Since the start of the pandemic, Jonathan Silverstein’s 14-year-old daughter Mila keeps up with friends by playing Star Stable Online. In addition, Silverstein and his family in Long Island have also used online games to stay in touch with relatives they’ve been unable to visit, including his two sisters’ families.

“It’s how we as a family have stayed connected with each other,” he said. “That was the only way we could hang out as a family. Even though they’re only about an hour’s drive away, every household in my family has at least one person at high risk for COVID-19 complications, so we might as well be on the other side of the planet.”

“It starts with the age ratings, but it’s the second component, the descriptors, that tells me what is and what is not appropriate.”

– Jonathan Silverstein

Their preferred game? Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and Call of Duty: Warzone. Silverstein is aware that the games are rated Mature 17+, but he’s comfortable with his daughter playing the online game as long as she’s with family members.

“It starts with the age ratings, but it’s the second component, the descriptors, that tells me what is and what is not appropriate,” he explained, referring to the ESRB’s more than 30 Content Descriptors and individual rating summaries. “It’s like movies. Some R-rated movies are okay, because I know my daughter is mature enough to understand the material. Same with the ESRB ratings. The Content Descriptors give me a set of criteria to evaluate the game’s appropriateness. With this title, I know she’s mature enough to understand that this is fiction.”

The Huey Family

Location: Seattle, Washington

Number of children: 3

Amy Huey used to be a lot more circumspect about her three children’s online gaming activities.

In normal times, this wasn’t an issue. With a schedule packed with sports, playdates, school, camps and extracurricular activities, there was little time left over for video games.

Once the pandemic hit, schedules turned upside down. What was once an occasional activity became a primary activity for her three boys, ages 8, 11 and 13 years.

“Since we’ve been home, it’s primarily how they stay in touch with their friends,” Huey said. “They’ve been on Minecraft, Fortnite (Teen 13+), and Terraria (Teen 13+), because that’s where all their friends are. They don’t do social media. Gaming is how they connect.”

The sudden influx of gaming this year has led Huey to pay closer attention to ratings and reviews to help ensure that her boys were selecting games that were appropriate for their ages. “My oldest is 13, and my youngest is 8,” she explained. “With such a wide age range, it’s a challenge to manage. The [ESRB] ratings and descriptors really help guide what we should allow in the house.”

The Bunge Sellers Family

Location: Katy, Texas

Number of children: 2

Tonda Bunge Sellers once maintained an “E-only” household.

“No games unless it’s rated E,” Bunge Sellers said, referring to the ESRB’s “Everyone” rating category that’s granted to games that are suitable for all ages. “It had to be an E, and no online interactions were allowed. I am very intentional about the technology that comes into our home.”

But in May, she found herself re-evaluating her rules for her 10-year-old son.

“I realized I was going to have to let him online,” said Bunge Sellers, who produces events about kids and technology. “It’s hard to be with your parents 24/7 when you’re 10 years old. He needs his friends.”

The family settled on playing Minecraft (rated Everyone 10+) and Fortnite Creative, a sandbox version of the original battle royale version of Fortnite, which was assigned a Teen 13+ rating from the ESRB.

“We did the research and looked at these games together,” said Bunge Sellers, who drew the line for her family at allowing Fortnite Creative, because it was “still team-based play and building obstacle courses,” but not Fortnite itself because she felt the frenetic third-person combat was not appropriate for her son.

“Although the rating was for Teen,” she explained, “I learned personally that the game allows for builders and hunters and that there are collaborative aspects that provided a social outlet for our son during the pandemic.”

Bunge Sellers readily admits that the lines she draws for her family may be very different than what other families may decide for theirs – and that’s okay.

“For me, it helps to have ratings and guidelines created by people that I trust. It means something to me to know that there’s research behind it,” she said. “Every family is different, but having a common standard helps us know what we’re getting so we can make the right decisions for our own families.”

The Chelesnik Family

Location: San Diego, California

Number of children: 1

Like nearly all parents I spoke with, Amy Chelesnik is especially alert to how her 13-year-old son interacts with others while playing online.

“I don’t take issue with him connecting with people he knows. I take great issue with him engaging with people he doesn’t know,” said Chelesnik.

Chelesnik said she specifically approved Minecraft for her son because the game allowed her to set whom he can communicate with. As a former middle school science teacher, her model for vetting games and apps is based on the rigorous standards that school districts place on interactive technologies before they are allowed in classrooms. Even after they make it on the districts’ approved list, Chelesnik made a point of using the technologies herself before deciding whether she would adopt them for her students.

“… It’s important for me to know if he’s going to be interacting with strangers. Will there be in-app purchases? Is there a chat feature? Is our location being shared? Can I limit those things?”

– Amy Chelesnik

“The most important thing for us as a family is having the tools to manage who he interacts with,” Chelesnik said.

“I especially like the addition of the Interactive Elements at the bottom” of the ESRB three-part rating system, she said. “I think it’s awesome, because it’s important for me to know if he’s going to be interacting with strangers. Will there be in-app purchases? Is there a chat feature? Is our location being shared? Can I limit those things? Having clear answers to those questions is important to me.”

The Chen Family

Location: Del Mar, California

Number of children: 4

With four kids age 9 to 16 years, the Chen household is a whirlwind – and the pandemic hasn’t seemed to slow down their pace. To be sure, many of the activities, from theater and improv workshops to cooking classes and video game playdates, have shifted online.

Still, the insatiable curiosity and rocket-fueled energy of each of Kathy Chen’s four children make it a challenge to know everything that goes on at all times. To keep tabs on her kids and make sure they stay within the digital boundaries she sets, Chen takes maximum advantage of all the parental controls at her disposal.

“As a former prosecutor, any kind of consistent ratings system that gives parents a sense of the content and interactive elements is hugely welcome.”

– Kathy Chen

Chen, who spent several years as a prosecutor in Massachusetts, invests time to vet her children’s digital experiences, whether it’s social media, online classes or online games.

“Whenever you bring kids together, you have to be careful,” she said. “As a former prosecutor, any kind of consistent ratings system that gives parents a sense of the content and interactive elements is hugely welcome.”

The ESRB’s rating system, for example, calls out interactive features including the ability for players to interact with each other, whether the game or app shares players’ locations with others, whether there are in-game purchases of digital goods or services, and if unrestricted internet access is provided.

“Look, being online and chatting with friends online is suboptimal,” Chen conceded. “You miss a lot of the nuances of being next to a person. But I can’t imagine going through COVID-19 without it. Even though it’s suboptimal doesn’t mean it’s not useful.”

***

What struck me as I spoke with Kathy and other fellow parents is how the pandemic has reshaped how children interact and how parents think of social play – perhaps in ways that will endure long after a vaccine is developed. To be sure, for many parents online games and digital interactions aren’t a one-to-one substitute for spending time in person. But they can add a new dimension to how our kids develop friendships, along with a sense of community. And as families grapple with how to adapt, ratings are giving parents like myself a layer of confidence and reassurance that they are, if nothing else, making safe, appropriate choices for their children.

As I listened to my son chat with his friend over Minecraft this past weekend, I could hear echoes of the familiar, back and forth patter that the two of them have engaged in since grade school. I have to admit, it soothed me and gave me a sense that, yes, things will be OK after all.

Alex Pham is a mother, journalist and content strategist living in San Diego, Calif. She previously spent 20 years writing about media and technology for publications such as the Boston Globe, Los Angeles Times, and Billboard Magazine. The highlight of her career was when she beat Pikmin in a single, caffeine-fueled weekend.

The post Pandemic Redefines What It Means to “Go Play With Your Friends” appeared first on ESRB Ratings.

However, alongside safety, it’s also important to encourage children to be ambitious about the games they play. Enjoying a wide range of experiences and trying out new ways to play together is a lot of fun. It also creates an open context where mistakes can be talked about and learned from.

Scuffed knees or disagreements with other children are a normal part of public playgrounds. Children learn a lot from the process of playing, falling over, arguing, and making up. When parents play video games with children and apply appropriate settings, they can create a safe space in which children can learn similarly valuable skills for their digital future.

The ESRB ratings are great to help steer children from games with inappropriate content. But they are also a really good way to find other games to play. If your child asks to play Call of Duty (Mature 17+) or Grand Theft Auto (Mature 17+) and you don’t think they are old enough, use the ESRB website to search for recent games with a lower age rating for your system.

Saying “Yes” to video games in this way is a powerful tool.

Other resources, like the Family Video Game Database, offers a range of less restrictively rated suggestions in place of games that have been rated for a more mature audience. You can also find really good suggestions from other families about what their children play. This information is collated in the database in the form of lists, making it easy for parents to find games that are appropriate for their children. Maybe you want to Solve a Mystery, Find Calm, Help A Neighbor, or Build Resilience; video games can offer these often-overlooked benefits.

Saying “Yes” to video games in this way is a powerful tool. Not only is it a chance to direct the sorts of games your child plays, but it also builds understanding. A bit of research, along with playing together, can transform video games as something children do in bedrooms to a shared activity anchored in family life. Here are some ways families I work with have enjoyed video games:

Stories With Multiple Endings

Games tell stories, but unlike books or films, your interaction can change how they unfold or end. Here are some popular examples for families:

• 80 Days (Teen 13+)
• Omensight (Teen 13+)
• Outer Wilds (Everyone 10+)

Compete On the Couch

Games can be a great shared family time as you sit next to each other in the same room and compete to win:

• Videoball (Everyone)
• Tricky Towers (Everyone)
• Horizon Chase Turbo (Everyone)

Find Calm from the Storm

Games can offer some peace and tranquility with locations, music and interactions that calm the nerves and soothe the emotions:

• Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Everyone)
• Never Alone (Everyone)
• Sayonara Wild Hearts (Everyone 10+)

Andy Robertson

Andy Robertson is an ESRB Parent Ambassador and author of Taming Gaming* (to be released in January 2021), which includes a companion Family Video Games Database of searchable titles for every interest. He has worked for over 15 years, writing in national newspapers and broadcast outlets, helping parents and caregivers to understand and make informed choices about the games their children play. He is the editor of AskAboutGames.com.

*ESRB is a sponsor of Taming Gaming

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